Baby James

Today marks the 3rd anniversary of my baby James' birth/death. I can't believe it has been 3 years already. I can still remember every detail so clearly. This year has been a little harder for me. I think it is because of the combination of my friend Megan's death last week and also because Jonah is not the complete focus this year.

I need to remember a few things for next year. I am going to write them here so that I will hopefully read it and not make the same mistakes I did this year. One of the things I lost after the experience of James dying was my brain. It just slipped out and hasn't returned. Because of this I get overwhelmed VERY easy, especially around this time of year. So next year I will remember not to try to do any kind of projects around this time, even small ones put me over the edge. I needed a babysitter for Jonah on Friday so I could go to Brandon's spelling bee. I was calling everyone I could think of and no one could do it. I about lost it completely! I can now look back on Friday and think, what was the big deal? So next year there will be no projects or no having to do anything that might make me lose it! The other thing I need to remember is to plan lots of fun things. I need to be out with friends for lunch or movies or just hanging out, not home trying to get things done.

Jacob always talks about baby James. Tonight he said the prayer and went on and on about blessing James to have a good birthday, and to have fun in heaven and for us to always remember him and to do everything because of him (he sometimes gets Jesus and James confused). We love it when he says the prayer, I have a hard time not bursting out laughing.

The day has come and gone again and I have made it through another year. Next year I will plan better, I think a nice tropical vacation will be good.

(I can not figure out how to rotate that picture. Sorry, and credit my friend Tiffany for getting that great shot)